A Message from KiiskeeN'tum

Q: Can we not attempt to be tolerant of everyone on the list and support the fact that we have a common goal: to provide loving and secure homes to our children, who come from different cultures and, as it is, face various levels of discrimination and challenge in their lives?

A: I vote for making my best efforts to do just that..!

I'm a visible minority. I'm Native American. I'm female.. I'm over 40..

I've faced racism of all sorts.. when I can do something to educate, inform or encourage others to be tolerant and respectful I do. Since I can't see in to the future, my crystal ball being at the repairman's, so, sometimes I make the effort, even when I think it won't make any difference.

I vote for respect, support, validation, empathy and caring for all list members.. for all human beings.. we are all human beings, members of the Rainbow Tribe of Humanity.

Like the rainbow we see in Father Sky, which is made up of all colors and blends, the Human Tribe is made of all the Human Beings that exist on Mother Earth.  We all share the same needs for food, water, air, companionship and love. We all have blood in our veins, a heart that beats, and more similarities than differences.

Exclude any person, any group of people for what ever reasons, couple with discrimination, whether personal, systemic, racial or any other designation, and we are ALL diminished as would that Rainbow cease to exist if we removed any color or combination of colors.

My wise old Grandmother once said that the best thing that could happen to the Human Race would be if we were invaded from outer space.. we'd soon stop categorizing Humanity by our differences, unite and face a common foe.. we don't have a common foe, here, I don't think.. but we have a common Love.. our children..

I cannot pretend to understand how is feels to be gay, lesbian, black, handicapped, blind, deaf or any of the other 'designations' used to minimize and marginalize or otherwise set aside an person or group of people.

I only have my experiences, what I understand, and what I don't, my own gifts and abilities and  limitations, to make meaning from my existence. Sometimes, maybe, my experiences or insights or sharing will fill a piece in the tapestry that someone else is weaving of their life and experience.. that is my prayer and my intention..

Perhaps someone else's sharing will help me heal, or fill in a tear in the tapestry that I'm weaving.. or even, create a new and beautiful pattern in my own design.  Some times it is enough to know that there are others out there who are struggling in the same way that I am..

The only real change that we can exact is in ourselves.. we choose for us.. I choose for me.. I choose to work towards unity, compassion, respect, compassion, honesty, co-operation..

I'm not pointing figures here folks.. just asking for a bit more thinking before we hit the send button on our computers.. remember why we're here? to support each other's cross cultural adoption challenges, victories, trials, joy, pain, to share, to learn.. and hopefully to be better parents to our beloved children...

As part of my healing from the abuse that's occurred in my life, I was asked to develop a personal Mission Statement.. it took a lot of effort.. time..

When I was very young, I devised a Mission Statement after a Vision Quest.. it was: "To effect positive change for the future..'

My personal Mission Statement today is: "To effect positive change for the future of our children'.. for in helping/loving ONE child, we begin a miracle of the impossible..  we have immeasurable influence.. over the future our children will create..

My  experiences shape how I make meaning from the world.. I can choose to judge, or accept.. to support, or destroy.. I can choose to use words to build bridges of understanding or use them to create conflict, or pain, or to hurt, wound or even, destroy.

By crossing the racial and cultural barriers, as we have chosen, in adopting across culture or race or any other 'designation', we have a unique and in my mind, sacred, opportunity.. to love our children and help them create a brighter future..

My newborn son is African American and Navajo. One of my now grown  adopted daughters is East Indian, Native American and African American. Two of my beloved grandchildren are Native American and African American. I want a different world for them and their children.

We can focus on what makes us the same.. or what makes us different.. we may be enriched by each choice.. but please, lets do it in ways that build? that are respectful?

I cannot choose for anyone else.. nor DO I choose to judge them or their lives with less value than my own. I'm Native American. I'm a woman, wife and mother, a grandmother, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a Medicine Woman, a Healer, a trainer and educator and a hundred other roles that I may pick up, wear, set down, enjoy or give away. But mostly, I'm a human being and my name is Deedee.

Respectfully
Deedee